The class of 2012 (is a stereotype), Pt. III

30Jul08
Northwestern student?? Or random model in a magazine??

Is this a Northwestern student or a world-famous model? Now that's an ambiguity you don't hear about often.

The “Fucking Freshman” category is meant to be ambiguous– like, shit, I can’t get from Tech to Evanston because all the new students walk in groups of 12 on Sheridan. Fucking freshman. –OR– Damn I’ve never seen that many hot girls at Northwestern at the same time. I need to start fucking freshmen. –OR– Why are all the freshman I meet National Merit Scholars, valedictorians, Track captains, Newspaper editors, Prom Queen, and really nice? Fucking freshmen.

So sometimes we post about freshmen we hope transfer before September, but we are even more interested in freshman we hope we live next door to or take a class with next year. This soon-to-be-NU-student falls into the latter category. Cruising her facebook page reveals nothing out of the ordinary, until you get to her “About me” section, which simply consists of three links:

About Me: www.myspace.com/kelseywild, http://www.purevolume.com/kelseywild, www.mytracks.com/kelseywild

Mm, links, you think. But try clicking on any of these and listen to her sing. I promise you’ll be captivated. Her music is good, really good– she has this incredible voice, and you completely forget you are listening to a girl your age and not some world famous artist.

Her Purevolume billboard says this about her:

Kelsey Wild is a seventeen-year-old singer/songwriter from rural Northern Illinois. After just one year of performing in & around the Chicago area, Wild is quickly establishing herself as a remarkable, up-and-coming composer and performer. Her ability to craft compelling songs with her sincere voice, unique piano melodies & heartfelt lyrics has caught the attention of fans & industry insiders alike. With a growing list of accolades under her belt (winner of two RAMI awards for Best Composer and Best Song, a feature on Coca-Cola’s Mytracks, an Honorable Mention nod from the John Lennon Songwriting Contest) and a rapidly and ever-expanding live and Internet fan base, Kelsey is one young artist who won’t be a local secret for long.
Oh yeah. Did I mention she is gorgeous? Yep. Prettier than, well, pretty much anyone else who goes to Northwestern. (That really is her in the picture!!!)
Oh, freshman. They’ve been all adorably wide-eyed, innocent, eager, and annoying for centuries– but now they are also way more talented than you’ll ever be.
Hoping to run into freshmen this cool next year on a daily basis,
–Franny G.

Filed under: crunk counseling, fucking freshmen   |  5 Comments
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5 Responses to “The class of 2012 (is a stereotype), Pt. III”  

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  1. 1 christine on August 1, 2008 said:

    thank you for this. we thought you hated us all!

  2. 2 Crunk Counselor on August 1, 2008 said:

    no, we love you all, especially for being so naive and hilarious. you’ll grow out of it!

  3. 3 christine on August 2, 2008 said:

    thanks! and your blog is great, it’s safe to say i look forward to reading your installments much more than RR’s.

  4. 4 2012 on August 3, 2008 said:

    christine montero needs to lose a lot of weight


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