Uh. No one is that attentive.
So we haven’t updated in a week. I know, we’re awful people but we are also busy people and never really planned on having lots of visitors, at least so soon. Not that we don’t like you. We’ll try to be better.
Sometimes when I get bored I reminisce about the worst classes I have taken at Northwestern. Whenever I pick my classes, I always make sure there’s at least one I can sleep through at least half the time. Sure, out there exist students with the balls to attend every class, every day, but I find my time is much better spent sleeping in and/or having sex and/or surfing Facebook.
The worst class I took was a new class in a subject I didn’t know jack shit about with two friends. The days that both friends showed up were rare. I don’t get internet in Fisk 217, so any reason I may have had to go to class disappeared. After the midterm I slept through the rest of the classes, went to discussion sections where I sat in the back so the pretentious bastards could run the show, and bombed the final. Still pulled out a B-. Classes at Northwestern aren’t that hard, really.
But I can’t claim to use CTECs as much as I should. Theoretically, each student should read all the CTECs for every class they’re considering, weigh the pros and cons, and pick the best teacher. Uhh, not so much for me. I look at the CTECs, sometimes, but that’s mostly to make sure I won’t be writing fifteen papers each semester or that the prof doesn’t do pop quizzes.
Classes at Northwestern are really a crapshoot. Not that the professors are bad, necessarily — usually they are knowledgeable, helpful, friendly, and yes if you want to come in after hours and be besties with your prof you can usually do so. Doesn’t change the fact that 50 percent of Northwestern students avoid any sort of active participation in class. Discussions get awkward when only two or three people in the room decide to talk. For such a reputably intellectual university, it’s shocking how many times the TA stands at the front of the room answering her own questions.
I’ve been at the school two years. It’s not like I’ve never been in a class where the students were engaged and interested. That does happen, just not as often as I wish it would. Honestly, it seems like there’s almost peer pressure not to speak up in class.
(The 300+ level classes are usually a lot better about this, obviously.)
While we’re on the subject, since my experience at Northwestern is limited to 24 classes: either in the comments or in an email to crunkcounseling@yahoo.com, let me know what is the worst class you have ever taken at NU and why?
-Sloane
Filed under: nu is not the shit | 2 Comments
Tags: classes, CTECs, intellectualism, internet, mistakes
A word to the irreverant.
Don't count on seeing it around campus.
Generally, I hate the Daily more than most other Northwestern-based media outlets. It’s boring, biased and embedded in a web of beaurocracy that puts the housing office to shame. So not to say that I enjoyed this article (I didn’t), but it does provide a nice backdrop for one of the bigger surprises of my college experience so far: politics don’t really exist on campus.
Northwestern lives in a bubble — I don’t think anyone would deny that. When I first came to college I had grandiose intentions of joining College Democrats and becoming a hard-core vegetarian flag-burning liberal … but then I couldn’t figure out where they met. Or what they did. The “Activities Fair” early on in the year is a joke. My freshman year, I wandered around for half an hour before realizing I would never get a chance to actually talk to the groups I liked one-on-one after fighting off the insane freshmen that made up the majority of the crowd (i.e. the high school valedectorians and the class presidents). I gave up, went back to my dorm and (at least a little while later) got drunk. Who cares about group activities?
I eventually joined a few groups, entirely of my own initiative. Politics never entered into the possibilities after that, because it simply dropped off my radar. That’s the thing at Northwestern: it simply isn’t on the radar, anywhere. College Democrats and Republicans bring speakers to campus, but they usually pull in few attendees (and even the well-attended ones aren’t drawing a huge percentage of the population). Last year I cared less about the political process in general (but addresses a much more personal issue — my growing apathy with politics of all kind), but nothing happened to make me aware. You could call me ignorant for sitting passively and not involving myself in our political system, but I am simply apathetic towards politics and that won’t change.
Unless you are close friends with someone heavily involved in a political group on campus, chances are superb you won’t hear anything beyond the standard campaign literature. Northwestern is not a politically aware campus. We have our activists and some people care passionately about individual issues, but politically it’s pretty blasé. We like our Uggs and our frat parties and polo shirts and Seven jeans, and no one has bothered to push us out of our apathy. I have drastically independent views on politics that no College Dem or Republican is about to change, but I’m not opposed to talking or at least hearing the crazies out. Unfortunately, NU has shoved itself so far into its own little bubble that most of us exist in a haze of materialistic bullshit.
And is it a bad thing? Who the fuck am I to say, sitting in my designer jeans drinking organic fruit juice and about to sit down for home-fried chicken. Part of the fun of college is immersing yourself in your own personal web of hypocrisy and slowly untangling yourself.
-Sloane
Filed under: nu is not the shit | 7 Comments
Tags: apathy, democrats, NU bubble, politics, republicans, sadness
Dear class of 2012,
It's all pretty cool.
As you wait anxiously for your dorm decisions, please listen to my words of wisdom about the dorm-ing process. I’ve read your Facebook group. I’ve been amused by your repeated attempts to contact the housing office, who are probably now just witholding the room assignments out of spite.
The summer before college, there is little more exciting than finding out who your roommate is and where you are living. Among all the defining factors of your college experience, these two seem to be the most important. I remember the day my housing information came, and all of the swelling excitement that arose within me as I opened my housing assignment.
And I remember being totally disappointed, and then later realizing all my first impressions were totally wrong.
Two years ago, I (much like you) wanted to have the BEST TIME EVER at college. And I tied having the BEST TIME EVER to being in the BEST DORM EVER which was, obviously, Bobb. And as I scrolled down the page to find my dorm assignment read, for all intensive purposes, “NOT BOBB 0326,” I was crushed. Immediately I began a Facebook stalking frenzy of my roommate, analyzing every picture, favorite TV show, and wall post, mentally analyzing what we would talk about and do together. I discovered this nerdy kid who was majoring in SESP or something equally lame (so I thought) and I became a puddle of sad, disappointed, moping sadness.
One of my friends videotaped his initial facebook stalking of his freshman roommate, counting on it being a really salient point in his life. Well, it was. His initial impression– this horrified, aghast facial expression and subsequent curse words– correlated highly with his roommate relationship throughout the year.
I spent the rest of the summer refreshing my dorm’s Facebook group, friending everyone I could find on my hall, and figuring out who my future friends would be. I pinned one girl down as my new bestie forever, and it turned out I talked to her maybe twice the whole year. My roommate turned out to be pretty chill, most of the time, and a hilarious drunk. Best of all, I still went out at least three nights a week, and usually more — all this from a skanky gross random-ass south campus dorm.
My point is: finding out where you will live is exciting, as is stalking your future roommate. But don’t get caught up in what your dorm and your roommate will mean to the “fun factor” of your freshman year. You make your own entertainment. There are some fucking boring people in Elder, and some ridiculously awesome people down south. And vice versa. A friend who’s an incoming freshman messaged me the other day worrying that she wouldn’t get into her top two choices. For future reference, her top five were:
- Bobb/McCulloch
- Elder
- Allison
- PARC
- CRC
Once she hit spot number four she said “I just gave up and put down random dorms because I don’t know anything about NU dorms but now I hear PARC is terrible and I might as well give up any thoughts of ever having sex if I live there.”
So yes, young freshman friend, you will probably end up in PARC or CRC because few freshman actually want to live there so they snap up anyone that marks them down. No comment as to the awesomeness of those dorms (I have never met anyone who lived in PARC, and I have strong opinions about CRC), but guess what, freshman?
You’ll fucking survive, so get over it. Yes, Bobb and Elder and Allison and blah blah blah are fun dorms. But no matter where you live, if you want to go out, you will find people to go out with, and no matter what people say, your roommate does not make your social life. Stalk all you want, but in the grand scheme of things the time you spend analyzing pictures on the internet means nothing. Have fun! Don’t tie yourself down to some misconceived misconception of your dorm.
Love,
Sloane (and Franny G.)
Filed under: undeliverable mail | 3 Comments
Tags: boring life, dorms, social life, too much hype
Your Night Out: Dorm Parties
Yeah, this doesn't really happen at Northwestern. Or at any college I've been to.
Drinking in the dorm is quick, easy, and a potentially huge risk, depending on where you live. Stereotypical “partying” dorm? (Bobb, Elder, Allison, Willard, etc.) You’ll probably make it out okay, but no matter where you live most in-dorm parties are marked by general paranoia and overall sketchiness following the golden rule small is better. Don’t live in the dorm? Don’t know the host? Don’t count on getting in.
Dorm parties are a staple of colleges lacking a bar scene and Greek life, but far less common at Northwestern. The occasional “floor party” does crop up, usually catered to the freshman crowd. For most students, drinking in the dorms is reserved for pre-gaming or really boring Tuesday nights. Unfortunately, when you’re just making a name on the NU scene, there will be many nights you’ll find yourself playing Kings in a dorm room, crossing your finger that knock wasn’t the douchebag CA making rounds.
(The higher the score, the better)
Availability of liquor: There is really no generalization for how much liquor is going to be at a dorm party, but the chances of getting more than a few beers and a bunch of shots isn’t that high, if this is a legitimate “party” in your dorm, and it’s not just you, me, and a handle of Smirnoff to kill. Which, by the way, does not qualify as a dorm party. While occasionally (ed. — almost always) enjoyable, that qualifies you as a practicing alcoholic. If you’re wandering around Bobb after hearing of that “super cool” party on the third floor, chances are great you will get no liquor. Promise. Score: 3
Chances of hooking up: Dorm parties tend to be the first stop on a series of destinations, so most people aren’t looking to settle down quite yet. Plus do you really want to be reminded of the time you hooked up with I-have-a-slight-beer-belly every time they walk to the bathroom? Not only does hooking up at a dorm party rarely happen, but its rarely a good idea/ Score: 3
Chances of getting in: There’s really no way to not get in to a dorm party, unless there are already 30 people in the room, or you don’t live in the dorm and don’t know anyone in the dorm to sign you in. Which would raise the question…why the fuck are you trying to get in anyways? Access, in general, is not an issue. Score: 8
Location convenience: If the party is in your dorm, you literally don’t have to go anywhere. Such a convenient party, though, is almost inconvenient…isn’t the whole point of going out to go out??? It may be close, but if you judge your parties solely on close, you are missing the fuck out. Score: 10, but in a bad way.
Chances of getting busted: If you are attending a legitimately advertised dorm party, you probably will get caught and written up by a CA, unless you plan it and execute it really smartly, in which case it probably wasn’t a fun party anyways. Getting written up isn’t such a huge deal, and it usually makes a good story, but it does kind of put a damper on your night. Score: 9
- Franny G.
Filed under: the rough guide to nu | Leave a Comment
Tags: alcohol, dorms, freshman guide, lame, parties, partying, social life
Your Night Out: Frat Parties
Nights at Sigma Chi used to be a lot more interesting.
When all other colleges have already commenced and Northwestern students linger/languish across the country waiting for school to fucking start already, the prefrosh will inevitably receive a series of irritating calls from their friends who are already at college detailing the “sick frat parties” they went to last night. By the time new student week rolls around (around the time when most colleges have Fall Break), freshman are practically peeing their pants in anticipation of visiting “Frat Row”
And even though NU has more of a “Frat scramble” with its disjointed series of scattered quads, the experience doesn’t necessarily disappoint, especially if you know what you are doing/are good at faking it.
While Freshman Freeze is in effect for the first couple weeks of school and technically bans freshman from entering Greek houses, the rule is pretty easily broken and ignored. Afterward the first three weeks building a web of deceit and lies (“I’m a sophomore, I swear!”) the freshmen are allowed to swarm the houses.
That is when the dance parties begin. That is not what we’re talking about; this applies to honest-to-god frat keggers where the brothers escort you upstairs while peeking out the front door to make sure there aren’t cops. Dance parties suck universally. No one wants to go to a dance party, they just end up there, drunk and horny.
Availability of liquor: If you are some rando and you don’t know anyone at the frat, you might end up having an AA-worthy sober night, even if you do pre-game. Bottom line is, you generally need to know somebody who knows somebody or be a really cool looking guy or a hot looking girl if you are going to drink at a frat party. There are lots of exceptions, like sketchy two-story (as opposed to 4-story) frats that are enthusiastic about jungle juice, jager bombs, and ice luge shots for all, but these everyone’s-welcome parties aren’t as common as the ones where to get upstairs (and access alcohol) you need to be in the know. In short, if you can get in, you’re set. Score: 6
Chances of hooking up: High. Frats are basically scientifically designed incubators for sex, with precisely the right ratios of freely flowing beer, dimly lit hallways, and dark rooms resplendent with beds and futons. Everyone is trying to impress, and if you want, you can probably find a guaranteed hookup at most frat parties. Granted, you might have to lower your standards, but this is Northwestern. Get used to it. Score: 7.5
Chances of getting in: This varies by person and by party. At cooler, more selective frats, you might need to know someone or look outrageously cool/hot to even get inside, especially during the beginning of the year, when freshmen mill around the frat quad like a crowd of lost orphans hungry for porridge. Generally, though, if you look semi-cute, aren’t wearing any unfortunate sweatshirt/suspender combinations, and aren’t part of a large and callow looking group, you can gain access to any frat, even if its by just following in some other people. All in all though, its best to know people, so make connections early, get phone numbers, and practice the phrase “Oh, it’s okay, I know John, let me in.” Score: 4
Annoyingness factor: Depending on the frat, there is a full spectrum of extra-douche to so nice and undouchey you are perturbed, creeped out, and have to vacate the premise because if one more guy who was without a question on his high school debate team tells you your dress looks nice and offers you a drink, you might vomit. So try ‘em all and find what you like best. As for the girls you may encounter, watch this video. If it makes you want to gouge your eyes out, frat parties may not be your best bet. Score: 5
Location convenience: High. Even for south campus dwellers, the frat quads are a mere 10 minute drunken stumble or a quick 2 minute blip if you can catch a bus. And for the blessed inhabitants of North Campus, the frats are quite literally in your backyard. Score: 9
Chances of getting busted: While there’s always a chance the frat might get in trouble later for their partying, the chances of you having to stop consuming alcohol because of the police or administration is pretty minimal. Score: 2
-Franny G.
Filed under: the rough guide to nu | 7 Comments
Tags: alcohol, frats, freshman guide, greek, greek life, parties, partying, social life
Get out five bucks and your indie-est duds.
Fundraising parties have been in the Mary Desler bullseye for the past year, who has threatened to revoke the charter / right to party / right to be an organization status of any group caught hosting a fundraising party. Unfortunately, this rule has been loosely enforced so far — at least, as far as I can tell. If anything, the number of $5-a-pop parties has decreased throughout the year. Not as easy to find or as cheap as frat parties, these parties usually guarantee a moderate amount of liquor to jump-start your night.
Beware: fundraising parties are home games for the indie Polaroid set. Nestling in south campus alcoves, these skinny-jeans clad Weinberg students (usually “classics” or “linguistics” or “art history” or something equally indie-riffic) designate these parties with retro-cool (not really) themes such as “The ’90s” or “Nickelodeon” or “Neon.” The further south you go for a fundraising party, the more likely you are to stumble upon a drunken discussion of Kafka. Really, now.
(The higher the rating, the better.)
Availability of liquor: Variable. If you show up before 11:30 or bring lots of dollar bills, the world is at your greedy grubby fingertips. Sure, the entry fee may be a strain on your tiny college wallet, but your $5 stretches further here than at EV1: all the crappy beer and poorly-made jungle juice you can handle, and shots and mixed drinks go for an extra dollar. Show up later than 11 or 11:30, chances are good the beer is tapped — not that it will stop the showrunners from taking your five bucks. Score: 6.5
Chances of hooking up: Average. Last fundraising party I attended, three different couples were hooking up in the living room. But these parties tend to be more insular and cliquey than your average frat party, so chances are good you won’t be talking to many people outside your circle of friends. Don’t count on going home with a stranger, but it does happen. Score: 6
Chances of getting in: Got five dollars? Unless if the party is way over capacity (and that doesn’t happen often, considering their primary advertising venue is Facebook and word-of-mouth), they’ll take anyone willing to pay. Score: 9
Annoyingness factor: If you hate faded jeans and boho dresses, maybe not the best selection. Overall, though, everyone’s chill. I once wandered into a party I had been invited to on Facebook, knew no one, and look back upon that night with extremely fond memories. Points off for the pretentious asshats, but extra points because they don’t give a shit what you do, as long as you aren’t in their way. Score: 7
Location convenience: Fundraising parties center around Ridge and Davis, which is a long walk from south campus and a fucking hike if you live north. In winter, getting there is damn near impossible, especially considering Safe Ride’s wait time increases an hour for every two centimeters of snow on the ground. Score: 2
Chances of getting busted: Moderate to high. I’ve never been at a busted fundraising party but theoretically it does happen. With neighbors who may or may not love booming bass at 3 am, you’re more likely to find yourself face-to-face with an officer than at a frat house. However, the bigger the party, the likelier it becomes that the cop will just tell the hosts to “quiet down.” Has anyone actually gotten a drinking citation after police showed? Probably not. Score: 5
-Sloane
Filed under: the rough guide to nu | 3 Comments
Tags: alcohol, freshman guide, fundraisers, parties, partying, your night out
Is this a Northwestern student or a world-famous model? Now that's an ambiguity you don't hear about often.
The “Fucking Freshman” category is meant to be ambiguous– like, shit, I can’t get from Tech to Evanston because all the new students walk in groups of 12 on Sheridan. Fucking freshman. –OR– Damn I’ve never seen that many hot girls at Northwestern at the same time. I need to start fucking freshmen. –OR– Why are all the freshman I meet National Merit Scholars, valedictorians, Track captains, Newspaper editors, Prom Queen, and really nice? Fucking freshmen.
So sometimes we post about freshmen we hope transfer before September, but we are even more interested in freshman we hope we live next door to or take a class with next year. This soon-to-be-NU-student falls into the latter category. Cruising her facebook page reveals nothing out of the ordinary, until you get to her “About me” section, which simply consists of three links:
Mm, links, you think. But try clicking on any of these and listen to her sing. I promise you’ll be captivated. Her music is good, really good– she has this incredible voice, and you completely forget you are listening to a girl your age and not some world famous artist.
Her Purevolume billboard says this about her:
Kelsey Wild is a seventeen-year-old singer/songwriter from rural Northern Illinois. After just one year of performing in & around the Chicago area, Wild is quickly establishing herself as a remarkable, up-and-coming composer and performer. Her ability to craft compelling songs with her sincere voice, unique piano melodies & heartfelt lyrics has caught the attention of fans & industry insiders alike. With a growing list of accolades under her belt (winner of two RAMI awards for Best Composer and Best Song, a feature on Coca-Cola’s Mytracks, an Honorable Mention nod from the John Lennon Songwriting Contest) and a rapidly and ever-expanding live and Internet fan base, Kelsey is one young artist who won’t be a local secret for long.
Filed under: crunk counseling, fucking freshmen | 5 Comments
Tags: class of 2012, facebook stalking, freshmen, super-people
Exposed? Not quite.
Oh no.
Rumor Royalty has already tried to “expose” Crunk Counseling, posting a misguided tip from a misguided reader. There is more than one person behind this and neither of us has dated some “rando Fiji dropout.” We don’t know the person accused of, well, being us, but we’re sure she’d rather not take the credit for something she didn’t do.
Doesn’t mean we don’t read Rumor Royalty as much as the next guy, but keep in mind its disclaimer: “Rumor Royalty is exactly what the name implies: rumors, not real news.”
And while we’re on the subject: we make no promises to be 100% factually accurate either. We’ve been around NU long enough to know that there are dozens of perspectives on every aspect of life here.
–Franny G.
Filed under: crunk counseling | 6 Comments
Tags: "exposure", blogs, rumor royalty
This is you in several months, freshmen.
A few months into my freshman year at Northwestern, I found myself posing against a white brick wall in a skanky, dimly lit hallway of one of Northwestern’s sketchier dorm– snap, my picture was taken, and a few weeks later, I was handed a shoddy rectangle of plastic emblazoned with my name and picture. The edges were rough and uneven and there weren’t any holograms– isn’t that the first thing they check for?? I looked back up at the kid with the hook-up with my seriously? expression all over my face. This is what I just paid half my month’s budget for?
Back at home, even the future freshman with years of drinking experience probably don’t have or need a fake ID. Older brothers, sketchy co-workers, and parents’ well-stocked liquor cabinets provide. Even cute Lodge or DU destined prospies get a little wide-eyed when their host suggests that they come with them to The Keg, offering to pass back their true and trusted fake.
Enter the Northwestern social scene. Evanston and Chicago bars are the places to be, and the the start of the end of the best nights at NU will probably occur at these fine locations. So if you don’t have a fake ID, or a horde of ID-equipped friends willing to pass back to you, you better get hooked up soon, especially if you are looking to go Greek.
Luckily, even the shittiest IDs work on campus. The Indian guy behind the counter at your new Liquor-fountain, EV1, is always going to give you that I-can’t-you-get-away-with-this look when he hands you back your fake, but every Thursday he still double bags your Grey Goose and Hypnotiq Karkov and Captain’s. And the “We Card Hard” stickers pasted outside The Keg and the rumored-soon-to-close Hundo? Might as well read “We Card Like Limp Dick”. I’ve never had my super obvious fake turned down, even at semi-classy establishments like The Celtic Knot (good drinks) or the quasi-Chicago staple, Mark II Lounge aka The Deuce (bad pizza/good times). There’s even a legend that someone has gotten into The Keg using a NU Wildcard with a fake date of birth added. But seriously, just put forward that $150 bucks. Yeah, it’ll just mean you’ll spend more money on alcohol and have even worse hangovers, but it’s so worth it. And if you are the cool kid who already has one Wildcat Welcome Week? Northwestern will give you a fiiine welcome to the wonderful institution of learning and higher education we call home.
–Franny G.
Filed under: the rough guide to nu | 2 Comments
Tags: alcohol, bars, fake ids, freshman guide, freshmen, partying
Yeah, so…
“1) When did RR become a credible NU news source? 2) How does this blog not pretend to be more biased than any of those sources? 3) Is being “biased, non-factual, Greek-centric” a bad thing? We don’t think so…”
Don’t worry, not here to steal RR’s thunder. The best part of Northwestern is there’s a spot for everything. We’re biased, you’re all biased, the Daily’s boring, etc. Not really into the gossip mill as much — not my forte, nor do I have the time or energy to keep up with all the news and drama. The best thing about the internet is the opportunity for everyone to have their say. So yeah — obviously exposure is nice, but I’m not trying to stir up drama or take over anyone’s mantle. I just feel like there’s more to say about Northwestern that doesn’t revolve around Greek life or anonymous, nick-named A-listers. Not that I don’t enjoy reading about them.
I’m not going to pretend like this is “just a blog for me,” more like this is a blog for whoever wants to read it. Seriously, I can’t do the bitchiness as well as others, so don’t expect that. I just got tired of reading things from other people’s perspective and never the non-Greek Northwestern experience.
-Sloane
Filed under: crunk counseling | Leave a Comment
Tags: "exposure", clarifications, introductions, rumor royalty
Recent Entries
- Awkward pauses in discussion sections suck.
- A word to the irreverant.
- Dear class of 2012,
- Your Night Out: Dorm Parties
- Your Night Out: Frat Parties
- Your Night Out: Fundraising Parties
- The class of 2012 (is a stereotype), Pt. III
- Exposed? Not quite.
- Welcome to Northwestern, where committing felonies is cool.
- Yeah, so…
- The class of 2012 (is a stereotype), Pt. II
Categories
- crunk counseling (4)
- fucking freshmen (3)
- nu is not the shit (2)
- the rough guide to nu (7)
- undeliverable mail (1)
